Monday, July 29, 2013

I love robins.  They speak to me of the hope of new beginnings...spring. 

I live in Minnesota where winters are dark, harsh and long.  Our only child, our sweet son was diagnosed with cancer in 2008 and flew Home to Jesus in early 2009.  The past few years have been a "winter" season in my life and I have so longed for the return of spring.

Robins are resilient.  They sometimes build 3 nests a season.

It takes hard work to build a nest, lay eggs, wait for them to hatch, raise the young, teach them to fly then watch them fly away.  It takes amazing courage to start the whole process again.  Still that's who they are, it's what they were created to do.

Before marrying I was a nanny, living in other people's nests and doing flight training for other people's little one's. But after miscarrying twins and then watching my son fly off, I've been grieved, felt old and weary and too spent to try again.  I've been brooding, feeling bankrupt in every way...financially, emotionally, physically...not sure I have what it takes to try again.  Yet, I'm starting to believe it's who I am and what I was created to do.

We can no longer lay our own eggs.  Still, we've got our own nest, granted it needs a little cleaning and freshening before it would be ready for another little one, but we could do that.  Sometimes other birds are able to lay eggs, but unable to build a safe nest, or unable to protect their young or gather enough food to raise their young ones and teach them to fly on their own...Maybe we can help.

It's been awhile since I spread my wings, yet I still remember the joy of flight.  I long to feel the wind lift me, long to soar again and by God's grace, again teach little ones to fly...  

Now to strengthen my wings, ready the nest and pray for a good egg.